Messy Marriage, Part 1 - SERMON NOTES

Below are Pastor Ben's sermon notes from this past Sunday, in case they may be helpful for further study.

Intro: (1) Keller book (2) cupidoscope

The Foundation of Marriage (5:25) — the gospel: (1) decline of marriage — divorce rate, births to married couples, percentage of population married (2) shift from “permanent union of mutual love to temporary sexual contract designed for immediate gratification”, idea of a “soul mate” who is fully put together and lets me “be myself” — no two people are compatible (3) over-idealism — wanting too much out of a marriage partner (i.e. turning them into God) (4) marriage not the problem, problem is that we underestimate sin’s effect on marriage (5) best place to start understanding marriage is by looking at Christ (6) living toward our spouse as Christ has lived toward us — must first receive what Christ has done for us

The Enemy of Marriage (5:21) — self-centeredness: (1) submission connected to the Holy Spirit — marriage intended to be approached by those already fulfilled in the Lord (2) if Christ, not my expectations of my spouse, is the foundation of my joy, then I become free to set my spouse’s interests ahead of my own (3) often hard to see our self-centeredness because we have been wounded by others in the past — wounds are healed by Jesus, not increased self-centeredness (4) ”reverence for Christ” = “fear of the Lord” — as we bring our wounds to Jesus, we grow in amazement of his grace and mercy — only way to break free from self-centeredness (5) application to singleness

The Covenant of Marriage (5:25-28, 31) — love: (1) two cultural messages — romantic love the highest level of fulfillment but not sustainable (2) love is primarily committed service, not emotional desire (cf. v.25) (3) marriage is covenant-based, not consumer-based (cf. living together) (4) wedding vows — “not a declaration of present love but a promise of future love” (AG taking me to emergency room) (5) you don’t fully love someone when you get married because you don’t yet deeply know them (cf. trip with Chad/Mallie) (6) society conditions us to love love, rather than love a person (7) v.31 — love not based on the “lovability” of our spouse at any given moment — Christ’s love for us in his death on our behalf
 
The Goal of Marriage (5:25-27) — preparation for eternity: (1) woman given to man for companionship (i.e. friendship) (2) foundation of Christian friendship is transparency and constancy — add romantic love to this and marriage can be greatest experience of Christian friendship (cf. Prov. 2:17) (3) Christ’s goal for his bride, as well as all husbands’ goal is to sanctify, make beautiful and radiant and holy (4) marriage is ultimately to help us become our future selves — requires a willingness to see each other for who we are becoming in Christ (5) one deterrent is not truly “leaving and cleaving” — placing other things as first priority (i.e. hobbies, work, extended family, children, etc.)

Conclusion: dog who ate passport before destination wedding