Messy Marriage, Part 4 - SERMON NOTES

Below are Pastor Ben's sermon notes from this past Sunday, in case they may be helpful for further study.

Intro: (1) series recap (2) practical wrap-up thoughts

Truth and marriage: (1) Eph. 4:15 (2) marriage the “closest and most inescapable of all relationships” —forced to deal with flaws and sins (3) examples — fearful, inflexible, undisciplined, perfectionist, critical, people-pleaser, needy, independent, sarcastic (4) what is minor to others is major to spouse (5) responses — accept, acknowledge our own, view as impermanent (cf. Rom. 7), willingness to help each other

Love and marriage: (1) Eph. 4:15 (2) transitioning from being in love to learning to love (3) spouses have greatest power for “reprogramming” how we see ourselves (4) different “love currencies” the sources of some conflict (cf. socks for birthday) (5) examples — affection, friendship (i.e. quality time), service, alone time (6) exemplified in incarnation

Sex and marriage: (1) Eph. 5:31 (2) modern view — form of self-expression by which we are “true to ourselves” (2) Bible  gift given for marriage between one man and one woman — intended to be enjoyed, serves as unifying tool of commitment (3) only works when rest of marriage is healthy (4) practical considerations — giving vs. getting, need for communication, intended to be present but will ebb and flow

Singleness and marriage: (1) 1 Cor. 7:29-31 — both marriage/singleness good (cf. Jesus, Paul) (2) common misconceptions — “as soon as you’re satisfied . . .”, “too picky”, “singles can commit wholeheartedly”, “must become wonderful to marry somebody wonderful” (3) practical thoughts —non-seeking seasons, singleness as “gift”, cultivate friendships that keep attractions accountable/feelings expressed, faux spouse

Ten practical categories: (1) lifestyle expectations (2) friends/hobbies (3) personality (4) personal struggles (5) communication (6) decision-making (7) spiritual practices (8) extended family (9) sex (10) money (11) identifying strengths and weaknesses in each (12) me and Anna Grace at the pizza place at the beach

Conclusion: praying with each other